Empty

I have emptied my can that was once filled with you. I believed it was empty. I simply forgot to check for sediments.

In the span of more than two years I know I have retained this attachment. How I long to hold you again and then cringe at the thought of seeing you. I know I have changed, you did too, definitely. And the gap between us has changed ever so rapidly with time. We thought it good to go our separate ways.

Indeed, I believe we exist apart, but a certain bond - that irreversible, unceasing bond, never expiring. I have thought of ways to lose this affection for you and redeem my lost soul. I feel however that same connection bridges me with my old self. I miss my old self. I was happy, smiling, optimistic, unyielding to possibilities, even the scary ones. If I free myself from that bond, I will lose myself forever. I will live like a ghost, loitering the earth, in search for that some potion that has been lost forever when I decided to lose my grip on you.

Might I still love you? But why do I only linger in sadness when I reminisce? I fall into cycles of loneliness, inching my way out and then slip right back to the core of you.

Maybe I miss the feeling of loving you. Insofar as logic and feeling is concerned, ours was the moment the two were in perfect harmony. The moment I felt truest to my emotion. The moment I felt I was most human. Until it ended.

I am a lost soul. I don't know how to feel. I miss you. I miss us. But I have someone who loves me more than you did. I will forever mourn at the time you let go of something true.