20120912
It's weird how right after opening this blog, posting a first entry would be such a hard push. Well, I needed space to jot down my thoughts. These thoughts can be poisonous to the soul and are better confided with a close friend or, yeah, publicly---anonymously.
Tonight, I feel the recurrent ephemeral feelings of depression and helplessness again. I was with Rei treading the sidewalks of Buendia. He was scolding me for taking a cab this morning to the office. He wanted me to take the public jeepney and the company-hired shuttle instead. Not a big offense yet I couldn't hide the guilt for a simple mistake. I know it's a hard life keeping abreast with everybody's expectation. But probably, in my case, the feeling comes from self-dissatisfaction - that I could not meet my own expectations of myself. Self-control and discipline are two things I am begging to achieve right now. The greatest challenge is the inconvenience of "now" and how to go past it.
(From my LiveJournal blog)
Tonight, I feel the recurrent ephemeral feelings of depression and helplessness again. I was with Rei treading the sidewalks of Buendia. He was scolding me for taking a cab this morning to the office. He wanted me to take the public jeepney and the company-hired shuttle instead. Not a big offense yet I couldn't hide the guilt for a simple mistake. I know it's a hard life keeping abreast with everybody's expectation. But probably, in my case, the feeling comes from self-dissatisfaction - that I could not meet my own expectations of myself. Self-control and discipline are two things I am begging to achieve right now. The greatest challenge is the inconvenience of "now" and how to go past it.
(From my LiveJournal blog)
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