Random Distraction

When I should be working, I busy myself with things totally unrelated to work. It’s a gaffe to open sentimental music and browse through old pictures of myself and friends. I feel as if time has swallowed me whole and will never disgorge me again for me to enjoy the liberties of being young. Anyway, it only becomes a mistake for me – to pause for a moment and look back at what has happened over the recent years of my life – when it interferes with what’s important at present, work that is, and when… well, I feel sentimental about memories that has rolled up then I am forced to let go of them and embrace the future. I am no master in handling my emotions well. I might be able to put on a poker face from time to time but not at times when memories haunt me unmercifully. I cry, but only inside. Memories make me cry inside for some reason I could not fathom. While good memories put smiles on other people’s faces, I cry over them. Probably because I fear that the future holds only a few good memories. Just now, I’m thinking that God has sprinkled only a few good memories over a man’s life. Probably so that he will cherish every bit of them. If he ignores them, he is the sole loser. But if he lingers in memories at length, well, that is relative. In my case, I cry. I fear. I am apprehensive of what the future holds. That with the few good memories God has sprinkled over my lifetime, I only have a few more to enjoy and look back on. Sigh, I’m being pessimistic again. Log out. (Hey, I think I have a slick collection of music. Haha! Michael Buble.)